www.wiltshire.gov.uk
Information for Parents
All schools are required by law to have an anti-bullying policy. However, schools acting alone cannot guarantee success and it is important that parents and schools work together.
Act immediately if you think a child is being bullied.
- Be alert to the possibility of bullying and of the warning signs that may indicate that a child is being bullied (Link to examples)
- Listen to the child and ask them what they would like to do
- Reassure the child and be there for them
- Keep a record of things that are giving rise to concern; include dates and times
- Keep the child informed of any action you decide must be taken and explain your reasons for the action
- Don’t show anger; the child might think you are angry with them
- Be pro-active with the school – ask to see their anti-bullying policy
- Act promptly, before the problem gets too big
- Talk to your child about how to be assertive and the difference between assertiveness and aggression.
If a child tells you about a friend or another child who is being bullied, listen carefully and take this seriously. That child may not be able to say for themselves what is happening.
Schools do not have a responsibility for dealing with bullying that happens outside school, even if it is between pupils who go to the same school. If the bullying is happening outside school, consider contacting the family of the child who is bullying and try to find a way to work together to sort it out. It is still important to talk to the teacher though – it might be that they can help (although they are not obliged to) or they might be aware of bullying behaviour that is also going on in school.
When talking to teachers, try to stay calm – the teacher may have no idea that your child is being bullied or may have heard conflicting accounts of an incident. Be specific about what has happened, take a note of what action the school intends to take, ask if there is anything you can do to help, and stay in touch with the school.
If you think your concerns are not being addressed discuss your concerns with the parent governor and/or headteacher; contact the Chief of Governors; contact the Director of Education for your local authority; or write to the Secretary of State for Education.
Click for more information about the Wiltshire schools complaints system:
Ultimately, if you are not satisfied with the way your child’s school is dealing with the matter, you can get free initial legal advice from the Children’s Legal Centre National Education Law Advice Line, which operates Mon-Fri 9.30 am - 5.00 pm. Call 0845 456 6811.
The Children’s Legal Centre has written a guide to the law, which provides information for parents and carers on bullying and what schools are required to do to prevent and deal with it effectively. It also provides practical advice on what parents can do if their child is being bullied, and what to do if the school fails to support their child.
If you think your child is bullying other children it is important to:
- Remain calm
- Don’t condemn your child, but try to quietly find out what is happening, and why
- Condemn your child’s bullying behaviour, but avoid labelling your child a ‘bully’
- Ask your child if they understand the harm they may be causing, including any possible consequences to themselves.
- Talk to their friends, teachers and anyone else who may be able to give you more information
- Seek help and support to resolve any underlying issue(s)
- Co-operate with the school about their behaviour. Arrange for regular reports to update you on your child’s progress.
- Ensure that your child apologises to everyone who was affected by their behaviour
- Set positive goals for your child, praise them when they achieve these and reward good behaviour.
On the right are lots of useful websites that can give you more advice and information about dealing with bullying.
If you have any comments or suggestions about the safer schools pages, please send them to saferschools@wiltshire.gov.uk or fill in and return our feedback form.
