The logs
These are the things you argue about most. Even when you're getting on well, the logs are still there. Some common ones are:
- money
- friends
- housework
- sex
- children
The match
This can be anything that starts an argument. It's often something small:
- the wrong tone of voice
- feeling stressed
- not listening to each other
The fuel
Once the argument has started, we can make things worse by the way we respond. This can add fuel to the fire:
- snapping back
- walking out
- bottling things up
- saying hurtful things
- bringing up old arguments
The water
There are also things we can do to stop the argument getting worse. This is like putting water on the fire:
- taking a break
- listening
- saying sorry
- having a hug
Here's a few things to try:
- can you think of what your logs are?
- the next time you argue, see if you can tell when you're pouring fuel
- think about ways you could pour water, and try them out